Rainy Days

Today, I woke up home sick. Nothing in particular sparked it, but I felt so far away from home, I actually started crying. I didn't know how to get ahold of myself so I went for a walk and asked God to come with me. Different prayers came to the surface of my thoughts and all I did was embrace the storm passing through. 

I thought of my little sister who just got engaged to her high school sweetheart. I thought of my niece, my best girl, growing so fast and prays for me every day on her own as she says, “Bebba, safe, Mexico.” I thought of Sis who is two months from giving birth to my nephew and two weeks from moving into their new home and needs me now more than ever. I thought of my little brother who is doing amazing things with the church and taking risks going to Juarez to share with the people of Mexico. I thought of my parents who worry about me more than they need to. All I could do was cry. 

12 years later, she circled "yes"

All these thoughts and worries came storming though all at once and I was overwhelmed. Then I remembered a quote I read recently by Freya Stark: “To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.”  Of the 308 million-plus citizens in the United States, 30% have passports (CNN 2011). Everyone dreams of traveling the world, but very few actually do it. I'm one of the lucky few, living the dream. Not the American dream, but my own.

Before walking back to the house, I noticed an old woman in her apron carrying a bucket full of something heavy. With very little effort, she hiked up the hill with a smile on her face. She stopped and looked at me, as I sat on the sidewalk with my head in my hands and tears on my cheeks. She looked me right in the eye and said, “what a beautiful day it is today.” And she left, saying nothing more. 

I realized then how lucky I am to wake up in this foreign town, and the old woman who has probably never left this small town of Jacomulco, was here to remind me of the beauty of this world. Sometimes I get caught up in my own world and forget to look around to see what’s really going on. The world keeps on turning, with or without me and it's a beautiful thing. I'm traveling and that in itself is a blessing. Once home from Mexico, I will have no job, no money, no plan, and that's okay because someone else has it all mapped out for me. Bring on the rain. 

Matthew 6:3-4

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

::Love::

"Amo Bebba"

Going Back to My Roots

This month has been awesome! I'm starting to come around and hold on to what's real. The same God who got me into this mad world is the same God who is pulling me out of it and revealing all things real: My family, clutch friends, and of course the outdoors. This month was all about remembering who I am.

I'm selling my car and going back to my college years driving around the ranger. I feel like I'm 19 again! Who would sell that beautiful Acura you ask? The hobo writing this blog...

I started running and eating healthy again. I've officially given up Costco cheese pizza (saddest day of my life) and traded it in for all things good. My newest favorite is this balsamic chicken from Trader Joes, Light Babybell Cheese, Granny Smith apples and shaved almonds. I can't live without Andy's veggie smoothies either. They're a daily staple for me to get energy to run. I ran 25 miles in 3 days and after my last day, I wanted to stay in this position for the next 3 days...

 

This week, I was reminded there are still good men in this world. Phil sent me the most thoughtful package to tell me there was someone on the other side of the world thinking of me. Until he's home in July, this picture of me, and Phil on top of Jonathon at the river makes me happy. 

I've experienced my two year old niece potty training and it's hilarious. I think the funnier thing is Sis and I standing by, cheering her on while bribing her with gummy worms as she looks at us like a couple of suckers. I'm loving her like crazy. Seeing her excitement when I walk in the door as she says "BEBBAAAA!!!" makes my heart smile every time. She loves seeing herself in the camera and laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world.

We took a camping trip up to Santa Barbara and I'm pretty sure Jayme is more my kid than my sister's. She loved the water and as soon as I set her down, she would bolt for it. The water was cold and all she could do was stand there shivering, with chattering teeth, pointing to the ocean saying "more more." She loves her sweats and beanies just like her Bebba. I love this little girl. 

Sis and I successfully pulled off camping cones! Wrap a waffle cone with some foil, stuff whatever you want in it (we did strawberries, bananas, marshmallows, and mini chocolate chips.) Wrap em up, throw them on the fire for 5-10 minutes and voila. Everyone loved them, especially you know who... 

I love my family. This photo of my dad makes me laugh. He made up a song about what an idiot Chris is while Chris laughed hysterically. I haven't seen my dad play guitar in years, and I think I've seen him get in the ocean twice my entire life. This weekend, he played guitar, and for the 3rd time, he swam in the ocean.  I also got to see tipsy sissy which I don't think anyone has seen. She even tried to sneak a pee in Jayme's potty while no one looked until she was reminded it plays music anytime pee hits the bottom. She'll never live that one down.

This bible verse has always been my favorite and I think it's appopriate after this week. I forget sometimes I'm not in the driver seat and if I could just sit back, shutup, and let God drive, he'll reveal his plan for me.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will lead your paths straight."

Ingratitude

Another good one from Jim's Daily Awakenings

Have you ever thought about it? Most traumas we face are because of too little of something or too much of something.

If you have too little rain, it is a drought. If there is too much rain, it is a flood.

If you have too much spare time, it is boredom. If you have too little time, it is stress.

If your blood pressure is too high, it is a problem. If it's too low, it's a different problem.

If you have too little money, you obsess about it. If you have a lot of money, you obsess about it.

Happiness in life is about living in the gap between too little and too much. The problem is that most of us don't know how much enough is. No matter how much we have, we complain that it is not enough. It's called ingratitude.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

February Love

Happy 30th Mom!! 

"you guys eat cake, I'll eat kale"

Take What Life Gives You and Use it for Something Good

It's been a roller coaster of a year and it's only been 23 days into 2012. To start the year off, I went to Park City and have never had so much fun with a group of strangers. I knew one person out of 12ish and came out feeling as if I'd known these people forever. 

I bought my ticket to Australia for September and couldn't be more excited about it. I've been wanting to get back to Indonesia so I'll be able to make that happen while I'm out there too. The more I travel, the more amazing people show up in my life to get me around. I'm ready to ditch the high heels and slacks for a while and take on the broke, brown, and barefoot lifestyle.

I finally went to Joshua Tree which is something I've been dying to do since college. I'd like to go to a different part of the park next time but we had a lot of fun anyway. Obviously. I learned a couple things about my family... My dad hates the cold and needs a new sleeping bag, Stacey hates red vines (who hates red vines?), Del Taco in 29 Palms has the greatest staff, and I love hiking at night!

After coming home from J-Tree, Sis called and told me to pray for her and the baby. We later learned she had a mis-carriage just shy of 3 months which apparently only happens to 3% of women. It's a good thing she's got little miss Jayme who will make sure mom is always happy.  My sister is a huge inspiration and her strength as a wife and mother give me hope to be the same to my husband and kids one day.

Can I just say, this little girl is so full of life and love. It's so funny how she reminds my family how to love and be loved. She's got the lightest heart and is such a blessing in low times. 

Just one day after hearing that news, I got home to my roommate telling me her boyfriend's brother had a stroke due to bleeding in his brain. He has a brain hemorrhage which is hereditary and he spent a few days in ICU and is now waiting to have brain surgery. It's crazy how life takes a turn when you least expect it. We're praying for his recovery and the strength to continue in his wife to support him.

While all this is going on, Alex is in Mexico on a mission trip. I'm so proud of him and can't believe he's my younger brother. We've gotten extremely close in the last year and he has mastered the art of picking me up when I've completely fallen. 

He's been on this trip and keeping us all in the loop telling us about some of the work going on down there. He prayed over prisoners, children and men who didn't speak English. He started speaking the broken Spanish he knows and by the end of his prayer, he said words were coming out he had never used before. He's truly something and I can't put words to how much I love him.

I haven't been able to work out because of my hernia (3rd time's a charm). Instead of pouting about it, I spent the most amazing, relaxing weekend with great people, overdosing on yogurt land, watching football and taking  a much needed nap. I woke up this morning feeling thankful. I had a smile on my face and in my heart. I felt especially grateful for those in my life, and the realization that in darkness there is always light.

"Surround yourself with people strong enough to change your mind."   

       --  John Wooden

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

       -- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Mamo Bebba"

My niece Jayme is 19 months going on 19 years. I've been teaching her Spanish and she's catching on in the cutest way. "I love you" translates to "Te Amo" and she can't say "Becca" so she says "Bebba." When I put her to bed the other night she said "Mamo Bebba" and the sweet innocence of that child melted my heart.

She's also learning to play like Bebba. When she laughs I blow in her mouth and it makes her squeal like a pig while she tries to block my face with her hands. She then tries to pull my face towards her to do it back to me but gets so squirmy and nervous I'll do it back to her that she forgets what she's trying to do.

She talks to herself, sings out of pitch, hums herself to sleep, laughs hysterically, makes monkey sounds, and loves giving hugs. Apparently, like Bebba, she also loves to pick her nose.