Broke, Brown, and Barefoot: 2020

Staying inside is not good for me, and that much I know is true out of all this Corona Crazy. Talon, on the other hand, doesn't want to go outside at all. "This is my home, this is where I live, this is where I'll stay and I'm never leaving this chair." I shit you not, he said those words verbatim. It's 9:21am, and he's eating ice cream for morning snack because ... because.

Winter Park Resort closed its doors the morning of March 15th, 6 weeks early. It ended with me laying off 1,234 seasonal employees, sending them out the door with one week extra pay to get them home, or to wherever they needed to get. It didn't feel good. It's times like this I don't love my job. I find joy and purpose by helping people, and right now, I feel helpless. I am grocery shopping for neighbors, I am here for people if they want to talk, but it doesn't feel like enough.

I started the first two paragraphs above and never finished. It's now July, and while things have reopened, closed down again, reopened again with restrictions, etc., life just feels weird. I feel like most parents who can't plan anything, including school. School not opening means not working for most parents, or working from home while trying to teach full time while trying not to lose your mind.

I live in a very liberal part of the state, which makes it hard when everyone, including the company I work for supports Black Lives Matter. I don't, and I have my reasons, but I won't dive into that here. Maybe some day, but I feel very secluded in my thoughts and sometimes wonder what it's all for. Do black lives matter? Yes. Do I support Black Lives Matter? No. Do I home school Talon? If I put him in school, I'm selfish. If I home school, I'm scared. It's a very tricky position to be in as any parent. It's a different life Talon will grow up in. I hand him a mask, and he doesn't even think twice. He just puts it on. That breaks my heart. Hopefully, he will have a childhood without a mask but I'm not holding my breath for it.

Is this when I pack up all my bags, savings, and move to 20 acres and live off the land? Surely a lot of people are thinking about it. Feels surreal. Between Black Lives Matter, and Corona Virus, I might move off into the country and start shooting anyone who comes onto my property.

Life in photos...