The Worst Day Ever - Started with a Sunset, Ended with Lightning

 August 3-4, 2024 - Lake Granby, CO

Just the three of us: Me, Talon, and Joe went to the lake Saturday night, and camped at our usual spot.  Joe took Talon and his stepbrother wakeboarding, and I was on the beach solo, enjoying a sunset, setting up camp, and making dinner for the boys when they got back. They dropped off Archer at his camp, and the three of us sat in our chairs, eating dinner, and once that was done, Talon and Joe played washers until the sun went down and headlamps were on! It was one of those simple moments where we didn't need TV, music, social media, or anyone else but us. I sat and watched them and didn't realize how big the smile on my face was. 

I woke up Sunday to see Talon outside my tent, fishing by himself. I knew it was going to be a good day. Talon went around on his paddle board to spend the first part of the day with Archer and those boys, while Joe and I paddled around to different campsites to scope for when his mom, sister, nephew, and cousin are in town this week. We even stopped to be kids again and jump off jump rock! 

I paddled back around to see one of our friends and took the E-Foil out for a spin. This has become one of my new favorite hobbies on the lake. Since not being on the ocean anymore, I found sports similar to get my fix from and this is one of them. I can't afford my own, so I borrow friends' instead :) I don't have a recent photo of me but here is one a couple years ago when I first learned how to ride one. 

A few years ago, we were in Lake Powell. Talon was saying "this is the worst day ever..." Strayer, same friend who was on the beach with his E-Foils was there that year, and laughed because who can have a bad day in Powell? Since then, me, him, and Joe all say that when we're having a great time. As I was laying there in the sun, after I took the foil for a spin and was drinking a cold beer, I looked up at Strayer and said, "worst day ever." He said it back and I just laid there smiling because damn it was a good day! 

Joe and I decided to pack the boat and pick up the boy, and go cruise back into Columbine before the storm rolled through. As we did, we pulled over and drug a tree out that had been sticking out all summer waiting to ruin someone's day. Talon and I worked together to drag it over to shore and the thing must have been 30 feet long. 

We floated back into Columbine for an hour, then had a diving competition off the boat before heading back to camp to button up and leave for the day. I was sitting on the back of the boat, leaning up against the paddle board as my headrest and was smiling, watching an osprey overhead gliding through the trees. I was grinning ear to ear and I told my boys, "these are the best days of our lives." 

We got back to camp, and I jumped on the paddle board because I wasn't ready to end the perfect day. I paddled over to Harvey Island, which is a protected osprey nesting area. Before I got there, I looked back to find both Joe and Talon in competition to see who could get to me fastest. They were laughing, and it made me feel really content in those simple moments. 

We left, got home and ate the always requested favorite, pasta. After that, I rounded the boys up to go on a family walk. It was getting dark, and I could see storm clouds coming in, but we went for it anyway. There was a beautiful sunset, we walked the trail by our house, Joe jumped out from behind a tree and scared Talon so badly, I swear if he hadn't just peed on a rock two minutes before, he would have peed his pants. 

When we got back, it was full on raining and we all scrambled to cover the boat, laughing and working together. When lightning struck, Joe told Talon and I to go inside. Talon, like always was worried about "Joye" out there alone, so we stood under the porch and watched. He looked up at me and said "I had a really good day today mom." I laughed and said, "you mean the worst day ever?" He smiled and agreed. 

When I thought it couldn't get any better, I went in to the bathroom, came out to a pitch black house only to find Talon and Joe laying on the carpet, watching the lightning and listening to the storm outside. When they saw me come in, we all snuggled up on the couch and watched it together, counting down lightning strikes to thunder, while Joe fed T and I bites of his ice cream. 

Terrible quality but incredible memories being made. 

I hope you have the worst day ever, and can feel as light as this boy makes me feel. 

Giving Myself Grace

 

Northwest Passage Trail - Fraser, CO 

Talon is 9, and I'm working to give him more independence and responsibility. I decided to let him ride his bike alone to the Fraser Picnic in the Park to watch music with his friends. It's about half a mile away, and he's ridden there plenty of times both with me, and alone with a friend. 

I was grumpy and needed a bike ride myself. I thought about just riding him down there to make sure he got there safe, then going on my ride. Instead, I decided, "no, this is how he learns responsibility and independence. Let him go..." He was pretty surprised when I told him he could go by himself, but I had my neighbor down there looking for him upon arrival. I told him he would be fine alone, but feel better knowing he's got eyes on him once he arrives. I told him he needed to be home by 7:30. 

I went for a ride, got home about 7pm and kept thinking maybe I should just bike down there and get him. "no... independence..." About 7:10, I get a random phone number call and I was joking it was Talon probably calling from a friend's phone for a sleepover. Instead, he says, "mom no one is here. I don't think music is tonight. They don't have chairs setup and I want you to come pick me up please." My stomach dropped. Holy shit, he rode all the way to Winter Park. It's 5 miles, but when I thought of him crossing the highway by himself, my stomach dropped. 

I drove there and he ran to me and started crying. He said he was tired and thirsty, and when he asked his friend for some of his iced tea, his friend poured it on his head instead, and he asked someone for a phone to call his mom. He felt terrible, he was confused when I said "Fraser" because there is only one music in the park he could remember, and he forgot about the one by school, and he made a bad choice, and his friends were mean, and he wanted to please go home and take a shower because he was sticky. Please mom, I'm sorry. I asked how he got across the intersection at Wendy's. He said, "well, I did okay. I mean, I got honked at..." I wanted to throw up. 

I held it together and the only other time this happened to me... well the 2nd other time, was when he got bit by a dog. I just had to respond (not react) as my mom tells me. I didn't react to the dog bite until he was asleep in the car, and had his little 18 month old face stitched up and bloody; I balled my eyes out. So current day (yesterday), I held it together until after dinner, after his shower, after he asked if he could please go to bed because he was tired... I took a shower and I cried. I felt so guilty. What if he had been hit by a car? Why didn't I just ride to music with him? Why didn't I confirm and double confirm that he knew exactly where he was going? So I cried, and I wanted to call my mom but she was on east coast time, and I didn't want to wake her. 

Today, I called her and said, "Mom, I wanted to call you. I messed up, I'm a terrible mom." I told her the story after she insisted I call her at anytime at night when I need her. She said, "Bec. That story proves you're a wonderful mom. Yes, you both learned a valuable lesson, but he MADE IT. He got there safely, he asked someone to borrow their phone to call his mom, who's number he knows and has known since he was 2 years old. Honey, he wouldn't have made it if you weren't his mama."

I find it easy to give others grace. Why it is so damn hard to give myself grace? She was right. I am a good mom. I mess up, but my kid made it. I gave him independence, he learned, he struggled, and he is stronger for it. I won't be here forever to pick him up when he calls. I turned my day around today after calling her, and needing to hear that. Instead of apologizing to him today, I'm going to tell him I'm proud of him. I'm proud of him for going all 5 miles by himself, and not panicking when someone honked at him, for asking someone for a drink, for asking for a phone, and for making the right call. He did exactly what he was supposed to do and I'm proud. I'm a proud mom, and he should be proud too. 

Mom and Talon, Chattanooga TN

2020 - 2024 Time Capsule

 Well, after COVID so politely took 2 years from everyone's lives, I seem to lost all track of blogging. I still journal but blogging takes a little extra umph. 

High level, I'm still in Colorado after 9 years. Talon is now 9 years old, I got married in 2021, continue to get promoted, though sometimes, I'm not sure I want to keep climbing the corporate ladder. I sneak away to the ocean every now and then with my brand new surfboard I bought with my trump money, although I definitely CANNOT surf the way I used to. Not having the ocean is a bummer, but I have rekindled my love with the lake. Our local lake is Lake Granby, and it's about 20 minutes away and definitely will be home to most of Talon's childhood memories. I've found myself approaching 40, feeling pretty content with everything currently. OH, I've also learned how to make sourdough bread at 8,600 feet of altitude and while not good for the waistline, it's VERY good for the soul.

If you care to read further, here is the long version... Tman just turned 9 on April 3rd. We moved here when he was just a couple months old and Grand County is still where we call home. We left our small little neighborhood of Tabernash into Fraser in 2021 just before Joe and I got married in September. 

   Tabernash 2016 - 2020

These pictures above in Fraser are a view of the house and from the bedroom window, and I never take it for granted. I wake up with coffee delivered to me in bed every morning (every man should do this), and I look outside and sometimes think I live in a picture. Joe bought this place in 2014 before Grand County was unaffordable. It's a small town which is good and bad, as small towns can be. We've got a great river, skiing, and tons of hiking. Only thing missing is the ocean, which I miss so much sometimes, I dream about it. 

For Joe's 40th, we went to Mexico and he likes to tell the story where I almost drowned him in Rio Nexpa. I was introduced to Nexpa in 2012, and this was one of my favorite places in Mexico. The waves in particular were great for me, friendly people, easy atmosphere, and the choco banana smoothies you can't beat! 

So we went, stayed at a little ocean front cabana, then one day, surf wasn't great, so we took the fins out for a swim. Before I knew it, we were getting swept down pretty violently with logs and never ending big waves. No idea when that happened during our swim but it was like one minute it's calm, the next minute it's victory at sea. And I love that about the ocean. In the book, "In Search of Captain Zero," There's a part stating, "the ocean is a constant respect of give and take. You take when the ocean gives, and you give when the ocean takes." We were humbled (and bloody) that day and still laugh til this day about it. 

His apodo will be "CHICHARROONNNN"

Honestly, I don't feel as I have much to report in the last 4 years, and I'm okay with that. People ask me how it's going, and my favorite thing is that my life has been very uneventful, just the way I like it. We have a lot of simple moments that I'm really enjoying. I got off social media after COVID because I was tired of hearing opinions, negativity, divisiveness in politics/vaccine, the list is endless. Instead, I've kept my circle small, and soaked in my family. 

I suppose the biggest "event" would be my mom's partner of 15 years, now husband, is going down pretty quickly with cancer. This picture was them at my wedding in September of 2021. My mom FINALLY said "yes" to him after at least a decade of him asking her to marry him. Perhaps it took knowing she won't have him forever that made her say yes in the end. 

I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore now that I'm not traveling, but if you're reading this, I hope you enjoy my life updates and some photos of the last 4 years in no particular order. :) 

Drove home for Christmas when Denver weather ruined our flight. 

Lunch break with the girls

Joe's best childhood friend in Massachusettes (I have no idea how to spell that damn state)

Wedding at the top of Winter Park Resort

Of the thousands of pics I had professionally taken, this is my favorite snapped from a phone. 

First look with my boys

Talon and his "Joey." I've been the 3rd wheel ever since. 

My pride and joy... 1998 Jeep, leaf peeping in our backyard - makes for a peaceful nap. 

Avalanche Game

Ice fishing on Willow Creek

Flaming Lips at the Mission Ballroom in Denver 

It suits him... 

First dirt bike

Lake Powell

Lake Granby

Talon and Remi are still best buds 

Our favorite campsite - Dead Elk Beach

He doesn't like sports, but he likes me enough to go! 

Cocoa Beach, FL to see Bruce Springsteen! 

MOAB for T's 8th birthday last year. I'm not sure who's more stoked on the present... 

Family moto ride. 

Somewhere in Salida 

Monarch Rim Trail

Overnight on Lake Granby

When Pops asks you for a pic of your front porch view to rub in his friend's face

Great crew of hockey families - Arapahoe Bay

Lake Granby

Ocean fishing in Boston Harbor on Will's boat 

Ooops - we ate it anyway. 

Closest thing I have to surfing

Talon wakeboarding in Columbine - Lake Granby

Talon in the middle 

Pops came to CO for a Packer game

Then we went to Lambeau a month later!

Jalapeno cheddar sourdough - Baked by Becca!

Christmas at home 2023 

XC Ski with Mom!

Fraser Valley Hockey kid... no shirt in 20 degrees

Talon's first trip down Topher's Trees - Winter Park 

Talon in the trees at Steamboat

Florida, MA 

View from town during the East Troublesome Fire 

East Troublesome from the air. Don't know who took this, but it's amazing. 

Splitting wood to keep mama warm

Cape Cod

Florida, Mass with Nate

This is what quarantine looked like for us... 

Crane Beach, MA - I slept a lot this trip

Joe and Will in Boston Harbor 

Fenway Park during COVID. Streets were empty during a Red Sox game.

Broke in my Trump money in hurricane swell at Lynn Beach... who knew... 

Joe's family home in Winthrop, MA

Freddy, Talon, Decker, and Luca